


Laugh Lines

by Trekkele



Series: Keep the Lights On. [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, I love George Samuel Kirk Jr, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Genocide, Laugh Lines by Bastille, Songfic, Tarsus IV, The life and times of a big brother, and the angst he can provide me with, i think i covered everything pls let me know, its tarsus of course its implied, jimmy what are we gonna do with you?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:06:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14804939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trekkele/pseuds/Trekkele
Summary: He realizes, dimly, behind the panic of why is the hospital calling me, and someone tried to kill my baby brother, and oh god I never should have left, that every defining moment in his life so far has been shaped by this absolute brat of a brother he has, and that this fact doesn't bother him at all."I'll see you in the future when we're olderAnd we are full of stories to be told.Cross my heart and hope to die,I'll see you with your laughter lines."





	Laugh Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Sam Kirk is possibly the most underused character in this fandom, honestly.
> 
> Laugh Lines by Bastille makes me think of these two every time, so that's the song you can listen to get what I was trying to say. (Everything by Bastille makes me think of Star Trek. help.)
> 
> I don't own Star Trek, or anything that sounds remotely famous. If I did, this wouldn't be fanfiction, it'd just be fiction.

_You took me to your favourite place on Earth_

_To see the tree they cut down ten years from your birth._

_Our fingers traced in circles round its history,_

_We brushed our hands right back in time through centuries._

When Jimmy turns four years old, Sammy drags him upstairs, past Mom and Dads room, into the old attic that's covered in dust and has round windows and always looks like little fairies are gonna pop out and tickle you.

Jimmy doesn't complain, even when he gets sniffly 'cuz he's allergic to dust and just sits quietly on one of the old boxes while Sam drags up a holo-player and slips in the memory discs he knows are on the top back shelf under Grandma Kirk's pressed flower collection.

Ma's in space, and she was supposed to be back 3 days ago, but the engine malfunctioned and she made Sam promise to show these to Jimmy because she was only going to be able to comm them for a half hour and the cake shop was gonna deliver the cupcakes but Jimmy deserved something special on his birthday, "and I need you to give it to him Sammy, I need you to tell him how much we loved him, how much we all love him."

Sam isn't sure Uncle Frank loves them, but Mom doesn't know that.

Jimmy is playing with the old model cars when the holo-player finally starts up, and he scrambles over to sit in Sammy's lap, even though he was four years old and Sammy was kind of short for his age. He fidgets while Sam flicks through all the files, looking for the perfect one, his favorite favorite day. Jimmy's lookin at his fingers, but he almost throws himself at the screen when it starts playing, eyes bigger than the old dollar coins Sammy's teacher showed them last week. He’s breathing kinda fast, but Sammy thinks that's ok.

"That's our Dad, see?" Sammy points to the man waving at them from the screen.

Jimmy nods, head bouncing  up and down, when Mom suddenly appears on screen, jumping on Dad's back, and giggles when Dad starts stumbling around spinning and laughing when Mom covers his eyes. The camera shakes, and all they can see is the sky.

"Uncle Chris said that Dad knocked him over and he was laughing too hard to shut the camera off right away. Do you wanna see another one?"

Jimmy whirls around to face him. "There's more? Like this?"

Sammy leans forward, and starts the one where Mom and Dad are dancing.

"Of course there is. We can watch them all if you like," and Jimmy turns back to face the screen, wiggling till he's leaning up against Sammy's side, just staring as Sammy queues them all up.

They watch them all, some of them twice, cupcake wrappers crumpled up and frosting tipping their noses.

 

* * *

 

He's going to college. He's going to go to _college,_ to Cal-Sci and he's going to study micro-biology, because _nothing_ (no matter what his engine obsessed Mom says) is as fascinating as how these things work and why and how and even Jimmy, who can't sit still for longer than five minutes, can spend hours listening to him talk about it, even though he was probably smarter than Sam and could explain it better and -

He was going to Cal-Sci and no one was going to stop him.

Except Jimmy was sitting on the front steps, watching him drag his bags down the driveway path.

But Jimmy's the one who told him to apply, instead of going local, or virtual, or any other option. Jimmy's the one who proofread all his papers, he's the one who told him to go for it, because not trying at all would be dumber than he could let his dumb big brother be. And now he's the one watching him leave.

Frank is out. Ma is in space. Jimmy is the only person who actually listened to his dumb idea in the first place. (Some part of him knew Winona would have be fine with the idea. But some part of him also whispered maybe not)

"You'll comm me, right?"

Sam looked up from the dirt road, head bobbing up and down, "Of course I'll comm you! Every day, so that you can help me with my homework"

Jim smirked at that, "As if you need my help. You're just lazy, admit it"

"Maybe. But don't tell Mom that."

And he promises to comm, promises to tell him about his classes and classmates and he knows, he knows Jimmy wants to come with him but for all his faults Frank's an adult and Sam... isn't. He promises that he'll come back, for holidays and breaks and weekends.

It's only three months he tells himself. Ma'll be back Earth-side in three months. It'll be fine.

And suddenly the cab is there, and Jimmy's helping him load his bags, and waving as the farmhouse disappears.

 

* * *

 

 

Three months.

Three months of classes and challenges and he loves it, three months of calling Jimmy to laugh about the idiots in his class and the homework that his brother could do in his sleep and the cute girl in his Micro-diversity class and being so tired he forgets to comm him at all.

He's been gone for _three months_ , and suddenly he gets a call that Jimmy's on a respirator in a hospital because someone tried to beat him to death and oh god how long has that been going on, how long since he left, since before he left, why didn't he _tell_ _him._ (he knows, he knows why, but Jimmy...)

Winona looks like she wants to kill something, or she looks like she's going to cry, and Sam's never seen her like that. But he's also never seen Jimmy black and blue and only breathing because, according to the doctors, "He's a stubborn kid, refuses to give up".

And apparently this all started with that stupid car, the one they used to spend hours in, pretending it was a starship, the one Mom used to take them out in on lazy summer Sundays.

The one that is currently at the bottom of a quarry cliff, and Sam doesn't want to know how close Jimmy was to following it (pretty fucking close apparently).

He realizes, dimly, behind the panic of _why is the hospital calling me_ , and  _Frank tried to kill my baby brother_ , and _oh god I never should have left_ , that every defining moment in his life so far has been shaped by this absolute brat of a brother he has, and that this in fact doesn't bother him at all.

He falls asleep to the sound of a beeping heart monitor, and wakes up to -

"You promised to come back."

"Yeah. Well. Kirk's keep their promises Jimmy. It’s just sometimes we’re late."

 

* * *

 

 

He's heading to the library when the news breaks. He and Aurelan are arguing about the likelihood of biodiversity on extreme planets ( _oh my god you nerds!_ , Jim cackles in his head) when some kid walks by saying how "It's crazy, didn't you see the news? Over 4,000 people are presumed dead" and he starts feeling sick to his stomach.

It's been a few weeks since he heard from Jimmy. Of course, his cousins live on a planet right past an asteroid field, so civilian comms are spotty at best. But he suddenly realizes that he hasn't gotten an overly enthusiastic comm about language lessons or Thomas Leighton or how cool his teachers are in about 7 weeks, and _that's not right_.

He turns, grabbing the kids elbow. He thinks the guy is in his bio lab.

"Where?"

"What?"

He can feel the blood start rushing to his ears and he tries to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach because he's just being _paranoid_ , it's not possible, not even likely, there are hundreds of colonies, he needs to _calm down_.

"The famine, the one you just mentioned, where is it?"

The kid looks apologetic, "I think, … they said it's in the Tarsus system, why?"

And Sam decides right then and there, that some really nasty deity has it out for the Kirk's, and that someday he's going to meet them and _kick their ass_.

Right after he steals a starship.

He only realizes he's started running when he hears Aurelan shouting after him, but she knows about Jimmy, hell she's been there when he commed a few times.

He needs to get to the StarFleets liaison office, he needs to go, he needs to be ... not here. Somehow he needs to be _there,_ He needs to get to Jimmy, _Asteria's Crown,_ he needs to _do something_.

Over 4,000 dead. He refuses to believe that one’s a Kirk.

 

* * *

 

 

Mom makes him promise not to steal a starship. Fuck that he's a Kirk he could probably talk someone into giving it to him. But she promises, promises to comm him as soon as she has news.

He's been excused from his classes. He thinks he'll go insane if he doesn't do something, but when he tried showed up to one the professor just offers his condolences.

"He's not dead." he said bluntly, Professor Ritick just sighed, obviously convinced Sam is in denial.

Well fuck him. Fuck all of them. They don't know Jimmy, they don't understand how impossible it is that he could be dead, that he would just die like that.

On that note, fuck him too. What gave the little brat the _right?_ How dare he just swan off into space like that, finally convince Sam that he's doing ok, only to get caught up in a Centaurus-be-damned _genocide???_

He's pretty sure if he doesn't get any news soon Aurelan is going to steal a sedative and put his ass down.

The USS Shen-Zou was supposed to reach them in two days, but if Sam knew anything about his mother, she had figured out how to break physics and was currently pushing it past Warp 9. And if he knew anything about her captain, Georgiou was sitting back and letting her do what she wanted.

He considered comming Uncle Chris again, but figured the man had enough shit on his plate. Also, he probably couldn't answer him. But fuck, they'd been on site for a week, _why hadn't they found Jimmy?_

There was, in fact, over 700 colonists completely unaccounted for. Surprisingly enough, this information didn't make him feel better. At all.

He was halfway through re-organizing his tiny kitchen (again) when his comm chimed. He almost broke an ankle (and definitely broke a mug) diving across the room to answer it.

It was Uncle Chris. He looked like he'd been _crying._

_Fuck. Fuck, no, no nonononono_

"We found him. Sammy, we found him, he's safe."

And just like that, Sam's world tilted back onto its axis.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, it takes another star-cursed _week_ before he can actually talk to Jimmy - Jim. Apparently he's Jim now.

A week of trying to get every bit of information out of any crew-member he can think of. Gods, he'd tried asking _Burnham,_ for Asteria's sake. (She had a brother too, apparently. She'd been more helpful than he thought)

The first thing he notices is how skinny he is. Which is dumb, because it was a _famine, of course,_ he knew Jim'd be skinny. But it's still Jimmy, under it all, so of course the first thing he says is "C'mon Sammy, where's Aurelan? You gonna make me look at your ugly face this whole time?"

And apparently Sam's forgotten how  to breath because all he can say is _"Jim."_

And then there both crying, ugly stupid sobs that won't fix anything but damn if it doesn’t make him feel better and Jim's just gasping and  talking and "I tried to keep them alive Sammy I _tried_ ," and he hasn't been Sammy in _years_ now, but it's ok, it's ok, they're alive and they'll be ok.

They'll be fucked up and broken and angry, but they're alive. They'll figure out how to be ok.

 

* * *

 

"So when are you gonna marry that girl?"

Sam jumps a full three feet in air and whirled around to face,

"Jim? I thought you were in South Africa?"

"Yeah but they kept laughing at my accent so I figured I'd take a break and convince you to grow a pair. Seriously if you don't do something soon I'm gonna marry her just to keep her in the family."

Jim looks...good, actually. Healthy, if a little worn out. Leather jacket and a lit cigarette because he was an idiot who didn't like to admit he had shitty lungs (and Sam was gonna have to get Aurelan to talk to him about that because, lucky for him, Jim adored his girlfriend like the sister he never had).

"Aww, how tragic, the locals reminded you ya ain't perfect at everything. Did they at least appreciate your pretty face?"

Jim's grin was frankly terrifying, since Sam remembered it from that time he was eight and decided he could climb to the roof.

"And _how_ , Sammy boy." Sam turned back to the waterfront, leaning on the bridge railing as Jim joined him.

"Do you think she'll say yes?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

Jim snorted, stubbing out his cigarette and shoving it into his back pocket. Jim was the strange kind of asshole who was really just a giant softy under the leather and bruised knuckles, and was he wearing _eyeliner_ ? Oh boy, Sam was gonna tease him for for _days_.

"For a brilliant scientist Sam you're a special kind of idiot. She's the best thing that ever happened to you, don't fuck it up because you're nervous. Besides, you're a Kirk. We're a buncha charming dumb-asses who always manage to land feet first. I'm sure you'll do fine."

Sam laughed into his palms, wondering why his brother still managed to surprise him. He should just expect him to always come through.

"Yeah. Yeah, ok, fine. But, I need you to promise me one thing."

Jim's eyebrows went up, "Anything," he said.

"Promise you'll be my best man."

And the look on Jim's face was perfect and heartbreaking, because Sam was gonna have to spend the rest of his life reminding this crazy, brilliant, brat of a little brother that before Aurelan, before his career and his science, and whatever else may be, _he_ was one of the best things to happen to Sam.

"Yeah," Jim whispered hoarsely. "Yeah ok"

 

* * *

 

 

It’s 4 a.m. in the morning and his comm was ringing. He'd shut it off but he also had it set up so that Jim's calls would always go through, because the little shit had a habit of traveling to countries in different time zones without warning.

"Hmmm?"  If Jim wanted courtesy he could call at a normal hour, the kid was lucky he picked up at all.

(That wasn't true. He always picked up for Jim.)

"What if I joined StarFleet?"

Aaand suddenly Sam was wide awake and throwing his blankets off because Jim _hated_ StarFleet.

In fact, he got his first doctorate just to fuck with them. He finished his psychology degree at 16, wrote a number of papers about the importance of Psychological Evaluation for people in command, targeted his analysis directly at StarFleet,  designed a testing system specifically for them, and promptly told them to fuck off with their enlistment offers.

He then proceeded to get himself emancipated and decided to travel the world while completing his other degrees virtually. And Sam was sure that 90% of his papers were designed so that StarFleet had to comment on them. He had to hand it to him, the kid knew how to commit.

If Sam and Winona didn't get a dumb tourist photo every few days they wouldn't know where he was at any given time.

They spoke. Sometimes daily. But it was always hey, how are you, I saw this really weird pigeon today, I completed an analysis of 18 century poetry in relation to casual dialects, how's the baby? Sam was never sure if he was sleeping or drinking or having panic attacks.

Tarsus had fucked them up. They _spoke_ , sure, and he knew Uncle Chris was keeping a eye out for his arrest record, but none of them knew what to do beyond support the little brat and offer him a couch to crash on. Maybe that's all they _could_ do.

They were lucky, in a way. Jim may have hated S _tarFleet_ , but he didn't hate them. It wasn't a lot, considering the kid's life choices, but he looked happy, so Sam would take it.

(You Kirk's are excellent at lying to yourselves aren't you? Aurelen always said)

(Yeah, but don't expect us to _admit_ it. Winona always answered)

"Well, what if you joined StarFleet?"

There was silence at the other end of the line. "Dunno" he finally said.

"Well,"  Sam rubbed the sleep out of his eyes "Can't be worse than what you're doing now can it?"

Jim snorted, humming a sort of semi-agreement. "Guess not"

"And who knows," Sam yawned, wondering if it was to early for coffee. "Maybe your anti-social ass will make some friends."

Jim squawked a protest about how _fuck you, I have friends, your science nerd self just can’t appreciate them..._

Yeah they'd be ok.

 

* * *

 

 

So, Sam had been wrong. He'd been so, so wrong.

Turns out, Jim joining StarFleet somehow translated into Jim saving the Earth (galaxy?) from a time traveling angry Romulan who destroyed an entire _planet,_ (oh gods above and below, _what the fuck Jim?)_ and getting himself almost killed in the process (thank god for Bones, Sam was buying him _all_ the whiskey) and rescuing Uncle Chris from said time traveling angry Romulan (Chris was now an honorary Kirk, by way of the sheer dumb-assery of his martyring self) and oh yeah did they mention that this is the same guy who killed Dad?

Yeah. Sam was gonna be completely white by the time he's 35, just you wait.

So now Sam and Aurelan and Peter and Winona are waiting in the hangar for Jim's shuttle, and the press is barely being kept back by the barricades, which are clearly making Mom super nervous, and he really hates StarFleets PR department right about now.

Except suddenly the shuttle lands and Jim is stepping out, dressed in StarFleet blacks, and Sam _breathes_ , because he's never looked more like _Jim_ than now, surrounded by his command crew and under the harsh lights of the shuttle bay.

Sam knows he's never had to fight like Jim has, never had to explain to people, by words or actions or force that he isn't George Kirk: War Hero incarnate, despite the fact that he's the one who shares the name.

But there's no denying it now. The way Jim falls back, letting his crew go to their families first. The way he makes sure the press is staying away, giving them the space they clearly need.

The way he _commands_ , simply by being.

Sam's sure that the history books will always mention George Kirk and the Kelvin. But he also knows that eventually, George will be better known as the father Captain James T Kirk, than for anything else.

But right now, Peter’s running towards him screaming "Uncle Jim!!", and his baby brother is falling to his knees to catch him.

"Told you I'd always come back Sammy" Jim grinned up at him, Peter babbling about starships in his ear.

"Well." Sam swallowed around the suddenly large lump in his throat. "You always were too stubborn to die. And Kirks always keep their promises"

Aurelan mumbled something under her breath and shoved him forward as his Mom laughed.

He's too big to fit on his lap these days, yeah, but Jimmy still fits perfectly under his chin, the little brat. Sam wonders how long he has till he needs to let him go, till he needs to disappear for debriefing and interviews and whatever else,  but right now, he just thanks _whatever_ is out there that they made it.

That despite it all, despite every damn thing the universe has thrown at him, they've made it this far.

  


_"I'll see you in the future when we're older_

_And we are full of stories to be told._

_Cross my heart and hope to die,_

_I'll see you with your laughter lines."_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine that Sam is the quieter brother, which is basically canon. And in case anyone is wondering, no he doesn't die on Deneva, because I said so. Also, the comics say so. This fic starts when he's 8-9, and ends when he's 29-ish. He's about 4-5 years older than Jim.  
> Winona is stationed on the Shen Zou, Phillipa Georgiou is both her Captain and not dead, because that's what fics are for. Fixing dumbass canon.  
> I am ridiculously proud of this peace. Be nice, I guess?  
> Comments, kudos and cookies all feed me. But only comments or kudos might get you sequel.  
> (Shut up I'm hilarious)


End file.
